What Christmas Means to Me

Felix's First Christmas, Christmas 2014

Today I woke up and realized that if I had to pick, I’d take Christmas Eve over Christmas Day.  It’s the big day before the big day and when the celebrations always took place in my childhood home.  We’d spend the day cleaning the house and helping my mom and dad prepare for the elaborate six course meal they’d cook. We listened to the Time Life Treasury of Christmas CD so many times I’d memorized all of the songs by the time I was ten. Each hour we got closer to Christmas got built up with more anticipation and anxiety as we’d entertain my dad’s side of the family and all of my cousins that night. I always had a special Christmas dress and my mom always gave us Christmas pajamas to wear that night. After our big meal we’d exchange presents and the kids would play in the basement while the parents got jolly and played euchre upstairs.  The little kids would cry when it was time to go home after all of the fun we’d had.  To this day the smell of candle smoke instantly pulls me back to those nights.

When I got older I spent each Christmas hoping that the next year would be spent with someone I loved. After Adam and I got married, I thought about how much I wanted a baby and how joyful Christmas would be when we had kids.

And last year, on December 24th, I got my wish.  A year ago today I found out I was going to me a mom and that I was pregnant.  Today I sit in my living room with a sleeping baby boy by my side, next to the glow of the Christmas lights on the tree and think about how lucky I’ve been and how grateful I am for the life I’m living. It’s the first year that Adam and I are spending Christmas Eve in our own home, as our own little family of three. It’ll be different from the full house I grew up with, but perfect in it’s own way. 

However you spend the holidays, I hope they’re filled with love. Merry Christmas! 

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